Mystery Flu

K so I haven't posted in a while (aka 3 days, but it feels like forever) This is mainly because I have come down with a mystery pseudo flu that has developed from my sniffle.

All of a sudden I woke up and couldn't get out of bed because my neck and back muscles wouldn't co-operate. It felt like I had been doing heavy lifting or pushups. Which was obviously, not the case.

It got better over the next few days, but my glands are still really swollen. But I feel totally fiiiine. It's just these damn swollen glands. And I can't go to a doctor cuz I don't have health insurance. Now I know how Americans feel!

I keep running into Jew-Boy everywhere. Christian girls keep have discussions on circumsized penises. Almost not Europeans have seen one! Isn't that weird? And they all want to , purely for observational purposes, of course. So every time I run into Jew-boy, thats all they talk about after. Because, unlike me, he doesn't try to hide his identity.



Before a Spanish party a few days ago (b/c of the Mystery Flu, I was sober) so Joanna-Gallagher-Look-Alike picked me up with Macho Portugese and we went to Tall Netherlands girl's (the girl who let me ride on the back of her bike) residence. There I saw Jew-boy, who decided to join us at the Spanish party.

We got lost looking for it, but it was okay because we passed Billy's, this great ice cream stand, where I got my FOURTH scoop of the day. But I don't feel guilty, I was sick. This country doesn't have proper ice cubes. I need something to soothe my inflamed throat! Okay , fine, it's an addiction. But such a gooooood addiction.

So anyways, we got to the party and it was soo cute. Behind their house is an abandoned house, where they held the party. Naturally, like happens so many times in this country, I had horror-movie fantasies. I'll put up a pic when I can, but you could almost feel the guy with the chain saw entering to slaughter young and innocent international students, vulnerable in a foriegn country.

I have a sick mind..I know.

I told this Spanish guy that I was Irish, along with Joanna-Gallagher-Look-Alike. So he goes to her "I can't really understand what she is saying". By she, refering to me, the NATIVE English speaker. My accent must have been realllly bad. So then Joanna-Gallagher-Look-Alike just said that I spoke Gaellic because I was from the north. Then the guy turns out to be in my French class. Awesome.

Then, ss I sipped on my lemon Fanta, I met Snotty Economist. She, is also, a Jew. I knew she was a Jew from the first time I saw her at the first international party I went too. It wasn't hard. She had dark, curly hair, a black coach wrislet and walked with true JAP attitude.

At first I pretended that I was Irish, ya know, for kicks. But as the conversation progressed, I felt bad and told her the truth.
I learned all about Wharton's school of economics from her,(the best)
what the starting salaries would be when she graduated,(150 k)
what her parent's profession was,(mother has her own orthodontist practice, works 25 hours a week)
how she had already been everywhere in Europe, (but wanted to travel with me still) o

oh and yea..in case you couldn't have infered already, that she was a Jew. I didn't bother letting her know that I was too. I'm not really into that these days.

We all decided to leave the party and go to a bar. After Jew-Boy tried to haggle with the bouncer over cover charge, and after Snotty Economist fell off my bicycle in the middle of the square, do you really have to ask why I'm not into that these days?