So I just came back from Amsterdam.
I think.
I could have been in Liverpool.
Amsterdam is apparently populated entirely of British men. I would think people were speaking Dutch, but actually, their British accent is just so thick it took 2 minuites to sink in.
So I'll start from the beginning.
I woke up on Friday, eager to being the Journey. I got ready and walked out the door to get my bike. And then I realized that my bike wasn't pedaling. I had to take a 12:00 bus from Brussels, and it took half and hour to get there, and it was 10:50.
So being mechanically inclined I tried to hook the chain back on myself. Black grease was coating my hands as a random guy came up to me, flipped my bike over and put the chain on in under a minuite.
'Whats your name'? I asked him "Rrrrrroberto" he answered. Spanish? Dutch? Who knows who my Mystery Hero is.
So I got to the train station late and looked at my phone when I realized I had 6 missed calls from Joanna-Gallagher-Look-Alike.
We had missed the first train, but it was okay, the next train would come at 11:24 which would give us about 7 min. to get our tix and haul ass to the busses.
The guy at the bus counter was super rude and kept being like 'twenty-four past two"
in a really monotone voice that only people who have to deal with ques all day long can affect. But he meant that it was 24 past the hour on platform 2. Which we eventually figured out.
Then I went to go get a pastry for breakfast and Joanna-Gallagher-Look-Alike went to go get a magazine. (British Cosmo! So much better then American).
And then we missed the train!!
But it was okay we figured. We had only missed 2 trains so far...and the next one would get us there 5 min. past 12. oooopps.
So I texted Christian Singapore and Pretty Polish girl who happened to be on the same bus to HOLD UP the bus no matter what it took.
But luck for us the bus was an hour late anyways!
Close call.
So eventually we get on the bus (which was an hour late and took an hour longer then it was supposed to). Naturally we just listened to conversations around us to amuse ourselves.
"Don't lots of Canadians want to be American though?"
"Um no. No one does."
[Overhead btwn blonde american and blonde Canadian sitting behind us]
"I don't want to date a rugby player. They have really good asses though"
OH, and did I mention we had NO IDEA WHERE WE WHERE GOING TO STAY!?
So we got off the train and thanks to my trusty guidebook made our way over to a hostel. Booked solid. Then we went to Bobs Youth Hostel. There was a big sign on the door saying 'FULLY BOOKED'. We went in anyways. Plan B was train station. The guy at the desk happened to be from Toronto as well. Wow...now isn't that amazing? And JGLA told him how much our friend had loved it there.
He said he only had one bed. We offered to sleep in to together.
No deal.
After 10 min of nail biting, a miracle occured..a girl had come down and said she didn't want to stay there anymore. Lucky Lucky Lucky day!
We tossed our shit up there and went to go explore.
The whole city smelt like weed. Esp. the lobby of our hostel where ppl where just chillin w/ there bongs.
We walked around, not really sure what to do. It was really late by now and we half attempted to go to the Van Gough museam since it was open late on Fri. nights.
We decided to just start smoking.
Except I was sick and being the responsible good girl that I am, I refused to further damage my throat.
But thats okay, Amsterdam has other options.
A.K.A Space cakes!
It tasted like a regular cake, except and hour and a half later I found myself giggling at nothing in particular.
We just walked and walked and walked around.
I really have to say that w/o sex and drugs, the only reason to visit Amsterdam would be for the canals, which aren't even AMAZING. Oh, and plus the museams.
There was a square with clubs in it, and a fair going on in the middle of town. We went to a bunch of coffee shops until we decided on one. What happens is that there is a menu detailing the various options. We asked a lot of questions and finally decided on 'Bubblegum' Actually, the guy reccomended it to us. Did he think we looked like girls who would smoke a weed named 'bubblegum'? Apparantly so.
I know I said I wasn't going to smoke...but.......just a little. Sooo strong.
We smoked half the joint, maybe half a gram combined, and were totally baked.
We walked around the city again, got lost, ate massive amounts of falafel, fries and fine...Mcdonalds, and ended up at our hostel where we promptly fell asleep.
I expected to be half dead the next morning, but I awoke with surprising ease. And my throat was better, so forget Riccola, go for Bubblegum.
I woke up early with the intent to go to Shul. Yes...Shul. There was this cool, old Shul that was open sat. for service, so I though, why not? But I got there to late and was not appropriately dressed so I gave it up and instead went to the Jewish museam next door.
And that was an experience. It was like a showcase of dinasours. They had Torahs and all these ritual Jewish items. And video's of Jews and their customs.
I was like..umm....hello...I'm still HERE.
I felt like I was walking through an exhibit of an ancient, extinct civilization.
I also bought a museam card which entitled me to free museams for a year.
Which would have been awsome. Except that I LOST IT. How you ask? I have no idea. I ddidn't lose any of my other cards. Just that one. It remains a mystery.
I was super pissed off, this meant I had to pay entrance fees everywhere plus the cost of the pass.
So we ended up walking around the city somemore, trying -sort of- to find the free Cannabis College, but it never ended up happening.
That is the most confusing city I have ever been in. It's ridiculous and so easy to get lost. It is organized by Canal Rings and all the streets curve and blend...
That night we decided to get drunk.. And high. I was considering getting Shrooms...but...I don't know...I wasn't sure about it so I refrained.
We got this big bottle of some sort of red flavoured vodka.
Then I remembered that I had to do my philosophy work, since I have a presentation next week. Philosophy and pot goes beautifully together.
We met a bunch of Brits (Shocker!) and chilled with them for a while.
I read Descartes 4th mediations, a bit of the 5th ones, too some notes (while toking of course), felt like I had accomplished something and then set out to the Red light district.
NOTE TO SELF: When on a budget, do not smoke. You will just end up spending all your money on food. Specifically Wok to Walk. The number one take-out chinese place that I wanted to go to. Dontcha love the name? The last day I creeped on this guy who was eating from it. I think their chain should expand, it's a genuis idea.
Anyyyywas...Red Light district took a while to find, but when we did, there were the requisite Brits, gross ppl asking us for 'Sucks and Fucks" and prostitues. In all their half-naked glory. A lot of them, in fact, almost all, were foriegn and either black or asian-brownish.
They weren't hot or anything, they were just normal women. It really makes you wonder why they are in that position. I heard they can make up to 700 euro a day and they pay about 130 euro an hour for the window, so that can be pretty good money. But still....like...to have sex with gross tourists 10 times a day?
A lot of curtains were closed...and ya know what that means!
We got out of there and walked around SOME MORE.
P;S my legs KILLLLLLL right now and are super sore.
We went back to the hostel I saw a group of guys on the stoop.
Hmmm... what are they doing there? French frogs smoking a joint outside the hostel?
They reason they were there was because the hostel was locked.
shiiiite.
oh...and JGLA had lost our room keys.
Super..really...this was exactly what I wanted at half past four in the morning...to be locked out of my hostel, keyless, high and tired.
We walked around trying to look for the key, to no avail obviously.
When we got back, I noticed there was a little bell saying 'night'. So I kept buzzing it and someone came and yelled at me for buzzing it!
Our room was open for some reason, but we had to sleep in our clothes since we had no key to our locker.
The key was like a 20 euro depostit :(
We kept losing shit, we really have to be more responsible.
I will write about day 3 tmrw.
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