Lets play a little game called Jgeo

Jewish Geography...heard of it?

I wandered around alone my first day in Jlem but then I sat beside a NonJewishBlueEyedAussie on my hostel's couch.

I actually cannot communicate how utterly SICK I am of telling people my whole life story. I am so sick of saying I'm from Canada and talking about Canada and the French and myself and my life and what I study and why I'm in Jerusalem blah blah blah kill me now.

But.....when you live my life its essential. But it makes me want to stop traveling, its really the worst part.

But I inflict this pain on other people so its clearly Karma.

So back to NonJewishBlueEyedAussie. Now...why would a NJ (non-Eew) come to Israel you are probably wondering? Well..I have met in my hostel alone like 5 NJs at least who came. I think its fascinating. This particular guy had met a lot of Israelis on his travels and

Had admired some things and had definte not admired other things.

...Like Israeli's incredible talent for bargaining in third world countries like Bolivia. (*sarcasm in case of undetectableness over web)


We, and Canadian ex-birthright ppl who were also staying at the hostel, decided to go to this comedy show that their birthright leader was putting on.

I won't even go into the JGEO with them. Lets just say..Hi 3 close friends, 1 camp friend summer '99, and my distant cousin.

So this comedy show...was....not funny. It was funny because it was so bad. Seriously, I thought that that was funniest part. They were making like Arab and terrorist jokes which I personally don't find funny at all because I
a. don't support racism
b. don't support making fun of cultures that aren't your own
c. don't support making it seem like Jews are racist to NJs
d. especially when your a huge loser/nerd

and they were making facebook jokes. Hellooo I have had facebook since 2005...like...get with the program and 2008.

The only funny guy was the birthright leader who was making fun of Jdate and internet lingo. Actually funny.

One of the 'comedians' who looked about 15, we ran into on Ben Yehuda st. after the show. There he (in a Kippa) called me a stupid bitch because I told him he wasn't funny and maybe he should stop seeing the world in black in white as in

" I don't like people who hate me."

Politics are going to come up a lot in this blog me being in the freakin M.E and all. Deal.

I understand the argument that many Arabs are brought up in a culture of hate..which is pretty much true. But that doesn't give Jews the right to return the hate. Then we are just stooping to their level. (hello kindergarten problem solving). As well...its a sad situation and if you can't make fun of it in an actually funny way...then just shut the fuck up. Also I find a lot of Jews use that hatred as an excuse to justify everything.

"Well, they hate us so there is no use in trying to make peace until they stop hating us"

Which is a valid argument. Maybe. But...maybe it could be changed to

"It is so sad that some people hate us. Lets try to get together with them and make them see that we are all just humans and they shouldn't feel like they have a reason to hate us."

So instead of separating ourselves further from them, perhaps we should actually get closer to them.

Newaz...so after the stupid bitch phrase one of the birthright guys like flexed his muscles and the guy like ran away.

Then we went to Mikes Place (cafe) where I ran into someone I know from a CFJS (Canadian Federation of Jewish Students) conference named "Comedian".

That was pretty fun. I ended up having 3/4ths of a wine bottle so was a little bit tipsy for a little bit and got to watch a girl on an Aish program hit on NonJewishBlueEyedAussie in an extreme way.

As in put her legs over his and call him "her aussie".

But she was fun and outgoing and I like her. But NonJewishBlueEyedAussie didn't and as soon as she left he was very relived as apparantly he was sooo not into her. But I guess when you're 25 and travel a lot you probably hook up with girls left right and centre. Especially when you're Australian. Their kinda sluts. Like Jews, except blonde and more straighforward.

All the other birthrighters had gone home to wake up for their early bus ride so me and NonJewishBlueEyedAussie stopped for some shisha where we ran into 'Comedian" who spilt my beer on me, and who happened to be hanging out with a Hasbara group where this girl I had been on a conference with last year was.

That was a mouthful.

Then NonJewishBlueEyedAussie et moi had a religious discussion where I tried to explain to him that one could both be Jewish and an Aetheist. True, but he didn't buy it. I refuse to explain it again. Try watching "The Believer" with Ryan Gosling for an intro to this concept.

Then we walked back to the hostel and me him and 2 girls went to Yad Vashem the next day.

For some reason...not emotional for me. It was just very long. The only thing that was truly scary was the pictures of the people in the concentration camp. They are just so skinny it's like they aren't even alive anymore. You wonder how they can even lift their heads.

I printed out the names of the people who died in my family from the 'Hall of Names' which is full of BOOKS of names in this circular room. Just books and books of 3 million dead people.

But then you step outside and have a "Fuck them!" moment because dammit your Jewish and alive and its 2008 and you just stepped out into Israel which is the fucking Jewish State.

But then I lost all of the other ppl and didnt see NonJewishBlueEyedAussie until later.

That night we went out with his ex-gf's Israeli friends and went to a club where I was soooo exhasted I almost fell asleep. Jlem is pretty expensive and drinks are like kinda super expensive so I wasn't really in the mood. But the friends were super nice except some of them were in high school. Sketch! Super Sketch! I used to be the high school girl...dammit when did I get so old?

Dusty winding roads

So these past few days in Jerusalem have really been a blur.

I'm sitting now in Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, the amazing coffee chain from L.A which is extremely overpriced. But worth it on occasion. Plus they have free wifi and I kind of have this obsession with my Mac and Ice Coffees.

So lets talk about Jerusalem. It's dusty for one. And very white for a second. (is that a phrase? Let's make it into an acceptable phrase)

All the buildings are made of this whitish stone material and at times it seems as if the whole city is gleaming reflective sun.

That is, if you can see the buildings through the dust.

Or think through the noise.

The old city is really beautiful though. Its this laberynith of lanes with Arab shopkeepers selling the exact same t-shirts and trinkets shouting "excuse me" at everyone who walks by.

That always unnerves me. When people say 'Excuse me" in Canada its a polite gesture meant to inform the person of a stain or ask a question.

Here they just use it to get your attention which is kind of extremely annoying. Fuck off, if I want to buy something I'll walk in.

But the lanes are cobblestone obviously and they have these ramps on each step that I guess were used for wheels.

I always feel like I'm about to slip down them in my over-priced brown Havanias.

I could literally get lost for hours. And when you look at the old city from a distance its so nice. Its walled and stoned and ancient and beautiful and.... amazing that its been the source of so much bloodshed, just for all the whitish stone.

I'm staying in a hostel in the Christian quarter in this ancient building that is basically a cave with free wifi. They have a rooftop dorm where you can sleep and it has the most amazing view over the city which someone should remind me to post a picture of.

I met like 20 ex-birthright Canadians there and we played Jewish geography for a while. But that will be the next post!

The other part of Jerusalem is the new city. This is where the Mcdonalds and tourists shop are. Including the cafe I'm sitting in now. Its entirely filled with English speaking people. Mostly Americans, mostly modern orthodox.

On the famous (or popular) Ben Yehuda street is Shopper DrugMart (I kid you not), tired old souviner stands, falafel places which I am already getting sick of, and very bored security people in yellow vests. Subtle.

There is where everyone meets up at night. The Jerusalem Hostel is across from there; I might be moving there when I get sick of my hostel or fail to find an appt.

Outside the central part of the city, Jerusalem seems to be crowded and noisy and well...Middle Eastern.

Fly JetAirFly and possibly die

Yay, so in honour of the holy land I have decided to resume my blog that has to long been dormant.

Lets start with my last day in Belgium.


Actually I can't even recount this story again....bassssically i had SERIOUS SEIROUS luggage issues because of stupid airline regulations that need to go away. I had to leave like 1/3 of my clothes, my giant suitcase, and half my room in Belgium. I sent one small suitcase home with Simon, who i hope is actually allowed to bring it on his flight, and went to israel with my backpack and a large shopping back full of shoes basically.


I was wandering around the lovelye/hideous city of leige when it started to pour rain suddenly and unexpectedly. It was then that i cursed Belgium. I started to find a cab to take me to the airport but because I am apparantly the cheapest person alive I turned down the first cab driver and continuted to wander in the rain. Finally i gave up and hopped in the first cab i saw which happened to be a van in the middle of the street stopped at a traffic light.

26 euros later and at the tiny leige airport i was ready to go to the holy land!

except my baggage was 16 kilo overweight.

whoops/

So i proceeded to take out verything from my bags and repack on the airport floor. shoes, underwear, books and makeup was everywhere. I just ouldnt decide what to leave.

I loved my shoes! I had boughten them all for 5 euro (yes you read that right) in Paris and i was never going to find shoes like that in Canada.

Then she got fed up with me and started to yell at me that she needed to close her booth.

so i dumped all my extra shit into 2 plastic bags and she decided she was too busy to weigh my hand luggage (a good 10 kilo overweight) and i ran to catch my flight.

I was so upset i had to leave all my shoes and pajamas behind that i ahem...started crying infront of the non english speaking guy who started throwing out my hair cream (damn liquid rule) she was very confused about why i was crying..probably because i declined to explain it to him in french.

but also i was getting my normal delayed emotional reactions that i get from having to leave belgium and go to the middle east.

then i asked another guy not to stamp my passport because i for some retarded reason thought he was stamping it with an israeli stamp. he declined though. about 15 min later the same guy runs in with 2 plastic bags.

I stopped him and said very sheepishly "oh..um those are mine"

He gave me an incredulous stare.

"um..sorry about that. mam i in trouble?

He said" first you dont want me to stamp your passport, now this s your luggage?

"Um...yes? sorry about that..i meant to throw those out becuase of my overweight lugagge. but then...i forgot. so you can throw them out now"

He said: "So these are yours then? is there a time bomb in them? hahah"

"um no..hehe...just my..pajamas."

and then HE HANDED ME THE BAGS!

he totally did not speak english well enough to understand that that was my oveweight luggage! you were only allowed to bring 6 kg on the plan and i had about 15 kg with me.

and umm...how unsecure was that? everybody knows not to touch bags that are left unattended in the atrium! especially on a flight to israel.

but that is what you get with a random airport in leige and JetAirFly


Then i spent five hours in front of SCREAMING evil jewish children. Whose parents didnt even looked ashamed at every dirty dirty look i shot them.

I arrived eventually at my hostel at 2am and these Belgian guys in my shared taxi who spoke english well decided to walk me to my hostel. although is walking in the old city of jerusalem at 2 am really that dangerous? surely not.

America depresses me

This must be a joke.

The only thing worse then making mistakes, is being a bloody dumbass and not admitting it, thus the problem just keeps getting worse.

Just admit it Bush..you faiiiiilllled.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7305023.stm

Bush speech hails Iraq 'victory'
BBC breaking news graphic
President George W Bush has marked the fifth anniversary of the US-led invasion of Iraq with a speech defending his decision to go to war.

Speaking at the Pentagon, Mr Bush said the war was one "we can and must win".

And he went on to say the US and the region were safer now that former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was not in power.

The speech comes amid criticism in the US of the war and its costs. But a recent "surge" of US troops to Iraq has been credited with reducing violence.


America

I am unproductive

Thats it. I am so unbelivabley unproductive it's scary. I slept until 2pm today. 2 bloody pm. Do you understand there are people who wake up at 5 am to go work? I went to SLEEP at 5 30 am. This is not good.

Although I did clean my room the other day and have thus been able to actually do work..in my room. and not go to Pangaea, the international coffee house and pretend to do work but really spend 6 hours talking to people.

I have spent all day in my room trying to check off my to do list ( i am an organized unproductive person) but have failed miserably basically because i do not understand philosophy of g-d at ALLLLLL.

Yesterday was st. paddy's day AND the Persian New year. I know! It was very multi cultural. So my rez held a Persian New Year dinner, where the girls from Iran cooked. And I learnt all about this new years. So we all know that Persia is where Iran is now right? And that Iran used to be called a civilization called Babylon. And that they destroyed our temple in 586 bce and sent us into exile? Bastards. But then there was this nice king named Cyrus who let us go back and re-build the temple! And thus began an entirely new chapter of Judaism. Remember that verse from the Bible"

Psalms 137:1-4 By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion. We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof. For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion. How shall we sing the LORD’S song in a strange land?

But that was several thousands years ago, so I try to forgive and enjoy this nice dinner. The meat was Halal. Now I pretend to be a vegitarian, which I am. But occasionally, especially after a few beers and break down. But I still won't eat non-kosher meat. So I rationalize with Halal. Basically Muslim Kosher. Except not as strict and kind of bullshit. But I try. So the Iranian girl was SHOCKED and then she asked me if i was Muslim. And i was just like 'no'. and then she asked me about my meat-eating this morning. Where I was just like..umm yea..

Becuase I refuse to handle the intergettion i will get if she finds out if im Jewish.

So they celebrate New Years starting from when Mohammed made his pilgramage from Mecca to Medina, about 1400 years ago, but really, their native calendar starts from 3300 ago-roughly the same time of Solomon I think.

Oh ancient history...so wonderful.

But seriously I fully support a Babylon new year celebration..because...they were fucking cool, go wiki it.

With me being neither Muslim nor Catholic,i decided to continue with St. Paddys day by doing as the irish do and ruining my liver.

I had brought these Shamrock green shot glasses all the way from Canada including a button that said "Kiss me I'm Irish". No one took the bait though...dammit.

Me, Mystery boy , 2 other Belgians and Salsa Spanish Girl all went to the Irish bar where we met up with the Canadians. It was packed.

Mystery boy is this cute boy who lives across the street from me but I only see him like twice a semester. But when he gets drunk he takes off his sweater vest and becomes hilarious. He also has an iphone, which i totally respect in a country that does not even have an Apple store. He is also very perceptive. When one Canadian was hitting on Salsa Spanish Girl he not only noticed, but commented that it didn't seem to be working. Only time will tell though.

So that is pretty much it. I have been staring a computer screen all day and am thus so confused i haev no idea what i even wrote now. but i need to get back into this blogging biznach.

London Bridge is falling Down

ok so i have all these half finished draft posts about my times in Morocco and Ireland and Toronto but then i was like....i must write about my night in london first!


So I am obesseeeeeeed with London and England in general. I am part of the commonwealth and their aristorcrasy, tea, wars and writers have always fascinated me. I want to marry someone Britis. The accent makes me horny, baby. (Austin Powers reference thank you very much)

So I decided to book my flight into London from Toronto and the last train out to Brussels at 7 30 pm. So at least I would get to spend the afternoon in London and catch a glimpse of stuff.


After my bajillion hour flight, which wasn't too bad because they gave out inflatable travel pillows which made my journey 50% better (get one now, they make sleep possible)

I landed in Gatwick. And after an hour going through customs, baggage figuring out how the hell to get into London, I was on my way.


Except the Tube station is going through serious construction, so I had to change trains like 3 times before Kings cross where I planned to leave my luggage.


Brutal crowds! And not fun with my suitcase(which , as you will see later, I am MADLY in love with my father for buying a good quality suitcase)


London is huge and the tube system is vast and it made my head spin. Loved it.

So I arrived at Kings Cross, my muscles already aching at about 2 pm.

I was ready to go home and do London another time but they wouldn't move my ticket.

So I went to the LEft Baggage place and found out that each item left was 6.50 GPB. For those who are mathematically challenged (except in the areas of money conversion and tax, I am too) For my 2 bags that would have been 26$!

I refused to pay 26$. Dammit. That is like a dress or a return trip to Brussels from Leuven 6 times.

Yes. I know I am a cheap idioit. Did I really want to be dragging aroud my suitcase and backpack for the next 5 hours?

Ahem. Apparantly my jet-lagged mind though it worth it.

Soooo I hopped back on the Tube to Picadilly Cirus. I walked randomly, no idea where I was going. I went through China Town, the Theatre Distict and found myself on a huge shopping street.

I though New York was bad.

Londoners LOVE to shop. THey are all Shop-o-holics, I can see why the book was placed there. I blame it on having to wear uniforms in their formative years.

Gazillions of people just walked in and out of stores laden down with bags from Seldfridges, Primark, Topshop. It was my kind of place.


So I walked and browsed and people watchd didn't buy anything.

But then it hit me.

They had Primark!

If I had written a proper Irish post, you would understand that significance, but Primark is the ultra cheap store with tonnes of cute shit. And they had the holy grail of tights, 3 for 2 GPB. Tights are 15$ in Toronto and 7 euro in Belgium.

I had to get them. I hate doing laundry, and I wear tights almost every day. So I went on a hunt.

Primark was bustling. The lines where literally wrapped around the cash register. And they have this cook system in London for cash registers where a voice goes " Please come to number 5" sometimes it says "Please come to number 17".

So orderly those brits....

A Technologically advanced ticket system.

So I bought my tights, had to pay by credit card (which meant it probs cost the same anyways) cuz my Maestro Card wouldn't work (not a type its my euro debit card).


Then I realized it was 6:40 and I had to go catch my train!

So I hopped on a bus. Which was double decker. Which 5 years ago I would have been so excited But I have become quite blase about everything european. Then realized I was going the wrong way. But I met a Canadian girl from Toronto on it. Who was TOTALLLLy Jewish.

So I chased down the bus across the street. Which was moving so. slowly. 10 munites in the same spot.

But the driver wouldn't let me off! And then I started crying ebcause it was 7:15...and you are supposed to be there 30 min before... and it left at 7:30...


Can you say 'fucked"?

So he finally let me off the bus because I was crying and I ran WITH ALL MY BAGGAGE still to the nearest tube station.

Did I mention I had been dragging my luggage with me for FIVE hours???? How did the wheeels not break? I have no idea. I was tearing up in the station but then I saw a man begging whose entire body had been burned off. And then I stopped crying and whacked myself for being so bloody spoiled. So I ran through the tube station, switched lines, got to Kings Cross ran to the Eurostart ticket office...and MISSED THE TRAIN.


I was a little emotional at this point. The point of being jet-lagged, no sleep, been wheeling around a suitcase around a strange land for 5 hours and just missed the last train of the day can't afford a hotel kind of emotional.

So I bawled to the nice ticket man. He tried to calm me down and told me I had indeed missed the last train to Brussels and would have to spend the night in London. Then he told me it was 50 GPB for the train in the morning. COuld I afford it? um NO I mean, I had a credit card, but not enough money in the bank. He then told me that "he just had to ask but he wouldn't charge me for it".

BEST TICKET MAN EVER. I am in love with the ticket operator. in love.

Except I still had no where to stay. I couldn't sleep in the station becuase it closed and the hotels started at 25 GBP. (50$)

All I had left was my one day travel card.

What the fuck..who needed sleep anyways? I dragged my luggage on to the first bus I saw, first scoping out if there were any 24 McDonalds (there weren't)''

I hauled my shit on top of the double decker bus and rode around London.


Then the Bus driver kicked me off at the last stop.

So I hauled my ass on the next bus I saw.

Until the bus driver kicked me off.

I saw wonderful things, millions of people on the streets, buildings, Arab Town, Posh town.

I really needed to pee then ( I not taken out a dime the entire day but just kept going to Marks and Spencers for water and sandwhiches on my Maestro Card)

Then, as I was running away from the washroom attendant lest she make my pay 20P that I didn't have, this young male Aussie asked me if I needed help with my bags. I said I didn't but I had been carrying them for 5 hours, blah blah blah told him the whole story then he invited me for a drink with his mates.

Sure? What else did I have to do.

Which is how I found myself partying with 10 Aussies.

This would also be more significant if I had published my post about what I think about Aussies.

We (and my luggage) traversed to a bar, where they actually let me and my luggage in without a second glance. I could have been hiding a bomb in there...or alchol.

I had just taken out 10 quid form a Cash Point (Translated from 10GPB from an ATM) and so stuffed my shit in coat check for a pound.

Londenors sure know how to dress up. Their fashion is so ah..unique and they put efford in it. I got to talking with one Aussie who wouldn't tell me his age but had an actual job as an an accountant. I'm guessing 27. ( How come I never hang out with anyone my own age?)

Then we talked for so long all his friends had left, so we followed them to another Indie bar.
I stopped on the way for a beer and chugged down a polish brew which a Brit in the Off License had recommended.



The bouncer here also paid no attention.

They had anime projected onto the wall in a basement. It was very cool. So I danced in my super inapproite outfit (brown unisex am ap cardi over a black tank top with black thermal am ap leggings and black slouchy tough boots) but maybe they thought i was going for a 'im so cool I don't even have to try" look instead of the actual "I haven't slept and have traveled across the atlantic in airplane comfy clothes"

So I just chilled and drank (one aussie bought me a magners) and then got invited to spend the night at the Aussies student house. Then I woke up at 6am and walked to the tube station where i made my train.


fucking jelagged now.

Belfast

1 min left in internet cafe; summary of ireland so far:

bloody alcoholics